E hasn't been feeling well the past two days and both times I've come home from work, he has wanted to nurse. That is something that hasn't happened in a while. I'm definitely ok with it, however, I'm beginning to get a bit more anxious as we get closer to having this other little guy enter the world.
I've already surpassed any "cut off" points that I thought I would reach while breastfeeding. First it was a year, then 18 months, and now it's reaching the two year mark. I kept saying to myself that I would let him wean himself when he was ready. I'm not quite sure about how I feel towards tandem nursing, but it doesn't seem like E is ready to stop soon at any point either.
Why am I unsure about tandem nursing? I don't know. I know there will be enough milk, but will E want to nurse even more now? Will he get frustrated that baby brother gets more than he does? Will it upset him and make him act out because he has to share? Will I be able to handle nursing two kids - one who needs it for survival and one who needs it for comfort?
We (and I say "we" because it's shared effort) are trying to at least wean E from his morning nursing. Paul and I have been making an effort to change his morning routine a bit. Typically after waking, E would come to bed with us to lay for a while and he would nurse. Now Paul has been taking on the morning duties of getting E out of his crib, getting him some milk from the fridge, and then reading some books in the play area. I have been getting up out of bed a little sooner to shower so that I'm not able to nurse him in bed. Sometimes he will ask for me and will come into the room calling "Mama" and signing for "milk". When he does, I will nurse him if I have time before needing to take a shower for work.
He still nurses at night and before naps, but also goes into his crib after a shorter amount of time and with a cup of milk. (He loves having his milk while we read stories before bedtimes.)
I'm a bit lost right now as to where to go and what to do about all of this nursing. At the same time, as much as I want to back away, I don't want to lose it either.
2 comments:
I think you are doing the right thing by having Paul take over at certain times. I know I had to say goodnight while I was in the living room and not be near the bedroom when Matthew was going to nap/sleep on the nights I did not want to nurse him to sleep.
If you want to stop nursing sooner than later- I think you should cut it to one session per day to start. For me, mornings were the easiest to give up first. Then, naps. I would drive at nap time and try to get him to fall asleep in the car or have Mark put him down for a nap so I did not nurse.
Then, once we were only nursing before bed- I would nurse him only if he asked. I would go about our normal routine bath, story and then just put him in his crib. Some nights this would fly- others not so much. Eventually- he stopped on his own. But I had to cut it down first.
and...remember it was 6 months after Matthew stopped nursing before Luke was born and Matthew asks to nurse. He can't remember how to do it but he asks and remembers. So- be prepared because you will have less time even if you stopped today.
I did a lot of the same things as Sarah (and you). He was only nursing in the morning, nap time and bedtime. I started getting out of bed earlier and having breakfast ready, driving at nap time (lifesaver) and Cliff took over bedtime completely. I started to do yoga and was physically out of the house at bedtime a few days a week. I also did the books that I told you about and we flat out talked about it. I was willing (but not psyched) to do tandem nursing if necessary, but fortunately my milk gave out around 6-7 months. Declan never asked to nurse after Cal was born (or even after my milk gave out) but he did like to talk a lot about how he didn't nurse any more because he was a "big kid" and he *got* to eat big kid food that the baby didn't.
In the end, I'm really glad I didn't force weaning. I did modify our routine to minimize his opportunities, but I didn't deny him when he really wanted it. He was very calm and accepting and moved on quickly. Every child is different. Declan is kind of cold and logical like me, so when I laid it out for him, he was cool. I doubt that Cal will give it up so easy. It sounds like you're doing the right thing. And remember that as the flavor and consistency of your milk changes, he may no longer like it anyway! The problem might just solve itself.
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