Now it's over.
I am no longer a breastfeeding mother.
It wasn't an easy task either.
My very first attempt at nursing E caused my nipple to blister. I don't even remember nursing him that time as I was still drugged from the c-section.
I had a lot of help from the lactation consultants in the hospital and I called them every chance that I could. One of them told me to use a nipple shield, but it was awkward and hard to use. Then another told me not to use one. I was one confused first time mom.
We discovered that E had tongue tie while in the hospital, but due to its lack of severity, we didn't clip it.
E nursed all the time. Literally. ALL. THE. TIME. I felt like I would never leave the couch/rocking chair/bed. I remember calling friends to see if it was normal. It was, of course.
Then six weeks later, I had to go back to work. I had to figure out how to pump and store milk. I didn't eat lunch with my coworkers that whole year. I was late to meetings after school. I spent my breaks pumping. It was lonely and hard and I did it and I wouldn't have changed a thing about it.
I experienced numerous amounts of plugged ducts and only one case of mastitis (thankfully).
I pumped in my car, in hotels, in the zoo bathroom, the baseball stadium bathroom, at the airport. I've nursed (covered and uncovered) in more places than I can name. I have only been informed that I could go to a nursing mother's room once. I declined that person kindly.
Nursing G was much more relaxed and easy. His was a textbook case. He ate well and slept well. No problems. It was the fact that E was still nursing that made it hard.
I never expected to tandem nurse. Shoot. I never expected to nurse as long as I did!
But of all the experiences I have had, tandem nursing was the hardest and more rewarding part. My boys held hands together while nursing and stroked each other's heads a arms.
I, however, would weep at the sight of myself nursing a 2 year old and infant. I felt like a dairy cow. I cried more those first two weeks than I ever had in years beforehand. All I wanted to do was bond and nurse my new baby, but the guilt of not wanting E to nurse was painful too. He was overly emotional trying to figure out his role in this newly expanded family of ours.
E finally slowed down his nursing sessions. And one day, he stopped. He was just over three years old. Two weeks later, he asked for milk and I allowed him to try. He did try, but he couldn't remember. After three years, it was gone. It made me a little sad. He'd never nurse again.
Fast foward to present day. G had been going two to three days without nursing once school started. (This summer he was still nursing 2-3 times a day, so I thought he'd NEVER stop.) The last day he nursed was August 31. He was three years and 10 days old.
He still asks every day for Mommy Milk. But I can offer him a snack or cow milk and he's ok with it. I am too.
Though I'm sad that their baby days are over, I am so thankful that I was one of the lucky moms that was able to breastfeed her children. Through the highs and lows, I am thankful for every difficult and peaceful nursing session we had together.
I never thought I'd be *that* lady who nursed her kids when they were walking and talking. But guess what?
I AM.
AND I AM PRETTY DARN PROUD OF IT!
My one regret is not having more pictures of me breastfeeding my boys, especially E. I made much more of an effort after I had G.
