This week has been a blessing, but at the same time, an extreme challenge. I believe that in order to get better at something, you must admit when you're struggling.
#1. Evan is so used to his weekly schedule that when I have time off of work, I feel that it throws him WAY off. He hasn't been sleeping well this week at all. Not one of his naps has lasted more than an hour since I've been home. (Until my mom watched him...then he slept almost an hour and a half.) Last night, he decided to wake from 9-11:20 pm.
#2. I admit, some of this may be due to the fact that he was sick today. He woke up from his morning nap, whimpered a bit, sat up, was quite for minute, then started to wail. I went in to get him and he was covered (neck down) in vomit. Arms, hands, shirt, pants, socks (drenched), and the sheets where all the target. He then continued to vomit clear fluid, then brown/purple fluid (I'm assuming from the blueberries he had for breakfast). He spent the morning attached to me, crying, fussing, gagging, and then we were having to change multiple pairs of pajamas for Evan and shirts for mommy. I finally just threw a bib on him to catch the vomit and grabbed some old towels out of the closet. I even leaned him over the sink a few times during the gagging sessions.
We finally were able to drive to CVS to pick up some Pedialyte for him. (Evan was crying and fussy while at the register and the cashier said to Evan, "It's ok. You'll get food soon. Not need to worry." At that point, I had to tell the cashier that in fact my child was not hungry, but had spent the morning vomiting.) After having a little Pedialyte, Evan napped on my chest for about 40 minutes. Once he awoke, he was smiling and happy.
I must also admit that I did my fair share of crying this morning too. Everytime he would gag, he would cry. His face was pale and he just looked miserable. It broke my heart that I couldn't help him.
#3. For about the past two weeks, Evan has not wanted to nurse to sleep for naps. I've been finding it very apparent this week. He'll nurse, then push away by rolling, sliding, turning, or standing. We'll try rocking in the glider, rocking while standing, bouncing, but none of it satisfies him. I then rest him on my shoulder, shush him, and he'll fall asleep. Sometimes I'm lucky and he'll want to nurse again once he's calm. When he does this, he'll still pull himself off just before he falls asleep and just rests his hands on my chest. I remember when he was itty bitty and I couldn't wait for me to not have to be his only method of falling asleep. But now that it's here, I miss it terribly.
3 comments:
Sorry you are having a rough time. Motherhood is never easy...you have the best day and think everything is perfect- then everything falls apart the next. That's what makes it worth it, right? I always think of my father-in-law now that I am a mom "no one ever said it would be easy, but it will be worth it"
I think you are a great mom and doing a wonderful job.
I hope everything gets better and you enjoy your last few days of break!
I remember when Carolyn started to wean herself. She was about seven months and I was SO not ready to be done. We hopped along for another few months, but by the end of that time it was very evident that she was done. I was extremely sad. But there are upsides, too: you don't need to worry about pumping and dumping when you've had a little too much, no more leaking. Hang in there! I know exactly how you feel.
Oh, and Sara, I think about that Mr. R. quote often on this whole motherhood ride!
I think we are all in the same boat. So that should make you feel a little better. I smell a mommy day. But it has to be on a day when I can have SUGAR!!
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